The history of Primary Software was never a bright one but a glorious one. There were epic battles that lasted months. The cost was high but the rewards were just staying alive. Men and women would fight to death and who ever managed to make it back, was awarded two movie tickets.
The spoils of War.
Recently I was reminded about the day the Primary Outstanding Accounting or commonly known as POA was put to rest. It was, for lack of a better word, horrible. No one used it. When the customers would call in in month long intervals, no one would remember how to defend against it. The casulaties were high in that regard. One of my dear friends Charlie deserted our company and headed for the free land of California. He is still at large.
Then Command made a decision. They would cut off all access from customers of POA. The few of us that survived were scarred by our tech support of that produce. Another of co-workers named Chiquita jumped of a building to silence the dreams of her post-traumatic tech support syndrome.
That is when they called in Father Trinidad, some sort of hoodoo dos holy man. He was called in to purge all the demons of POA from our souls.
We were instructed to gather outside the building in the parking where Father Trinidad was holding his
Rogosyth, or Purification Ceremony. Myself, Rod, Janis, Beanstalk and Xander were escorted by women wereing light brown robes and head-dresses made of harddrives. They sat us down in front of a bond-fire, where I noticed it was nothing but POA manuels. Father Trinidad started placing these necklaces around our necks, which were CD-Roms and network cable wire. The women would then flap around flaming manuels over our heads like fans. The fiery embers cascaded over us.
Father Trinidad then took some ash into his fingers and began writing lines of codes on our forehead, speaking COBOL the whole time. The more the ceremony went through, I did indeed feel something. All the knowledge I had of POA was leaving my brain.
After Father Trinidad was done, he told us to stand up, take off our necklaces and throw them into the fire. As we did, we expelled the POA demons from our beings. Janis shed tears of joy and Beanstalk simply couldn't stop laughing.
Me? I just hope the demons of POA have been put to rest for good.
